Thai Night

Tonight, we're having a few of our great friends over for an evening of Thai food, wine and fantastic conversation.  I'm really looking forward to our time together - there's never a lull in the conversation when we get together!

This is one of the great aspects of the "one week on, one week off" schedule we have with the kids; we are able to have a dinner party on a weeknight.

Tonight's menu is:

• Fresh vegetarian spring rolls with peanut sauce and chili sauce
• Thai butternut squash soup
• Penang Curry with vegetables
• Sweet and Sour stir-fry (pad preow wan)
• Mango Sticky Rice
• Waaaaay too much wine

I'll try to take pictures of everything, and post here tomorrow or Saturday.  Until then, enjoy the GORGEOUS weather!!

Lemon-Pepper Pappardelle Pasta

Yesterday, we decided to use the Lemon Pepper Pappardelle pasta we bought a month or so ago at Trader Joe's.

Around 2:00, I splashed a bit of lemon juice and sprinkled a bit of lemon pepper seasoning on two chicken breasts, then put them in the fridge to marinate for a few hours.

Jesse came home after work, and we started making dinner.

It all came together very quickly.

• 1 pkg. Trader Joe's Lemon Pepper Pappardelle pasta
• 2 chicken breasts, seasoned with lemon juice and lemon pepper
• 2 Tbsp. salted butter
• 2 Tbsp. flour
• 1/8 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/8 tsp. onion salt
• 1/4 tsp. fresh ground pepper
• 5 stalks of asparagus, trimmed of "woody" ends, and sliced on the bias into 1.5" pieces
• 1/2 cup of frozen sweet peas
• 1/2 cup of shredded or matchstick carrots

1. In a saute pan, over medium heat, melt 2 Tbsp. butter
2. To the melted butter, whisk in 2 Tbsp. flour and make a roux
3. Slowly add 1 cup of chicken broth, whisking until incorporated into the roux
4. Slowly add 1 cup of 1% or skim milk, whisking until incorporated
5. Stir in garlic powder, onion salt and fresh ground pepper and bring to a slow boil
6. reduce heat to low and stir occassionally
7. After sauce thickens, add frozen peas and carrots and continue stirring occasionally
8. Cook pasta according to package directions.  When 1 minute remains in the pasta cooking time, add asparagus to the water and stir.
9. Drain pasta and asparagus and set aside
10. Over medium heat, grill chicken breasts until cooked through.  Allow to sit for 5 minutes, then slice into 1" strips.
11. Combine pasta, asparagus and sauce, mixing well to ensure noodles are coated.
12. Spoon pasta and sauce onto plate, and top with the chicken breasts.

Poor Kiddos

On Sunday night, while tucking the kids into bed, my youngest step-son and my step-daughter (ages 10 and 12 respectively) were both tearful and upset at the prospect of spending the next week with their mom.

We've faced this several times in the past and it never gets easier.  Knowing what their biological mom (a.k.a. the Momster) is like, I can't imagine having to spend a week with her. Since my step-daughter is in trouble for participating in the school talent show, both she and her younger brother are being punished at their mom's house.  Somehow, their older brother (age 15) escapes this.  It might be that he's his mom's biggest fan.  He's constantly covering up for her and defending her.  Just this week, the kids were laughing about how their half-brother (age 3) now says the "f" word.  We asked how on Earth he learned that word at age 3, and my step-daughter and youngest step-son both said that their mom uses that word a lot.  Not that this is a big deal to us - she can talk however she'd like in her home and among her children. However, my oldest step-son immediately jumped in to "defend" his mom, saying that she never uses that word and he accused his siblings of lying.  It's fairly obvious who was lying in this situation, and he's not saving his mom any shame in trying to cover for her.

Anyway, the younger two certainly dreaded returning to the Momster's for her custodial week. In a way (and this is purely selfish), I kind of relish in the fact that she's such a bad mom. They're not my kids, and I have to try much much harder to gain their respect and approval... so when she is blatantly horrible to them, I silently thank her for making my job just a bit easier.

Not that it's easy to deal with emotionally distraught kids or know that you're sending them to a home in which they are merely "things" for her to toy with.  It's certainly hard to know that they're unhappy this week, and I don't want them to experience unpleasantness for one minute.

However, it is reassuring to know that their mom slips up from time to time, and shows them her true colors.  She is a nasty woman, and every once in a while they get a taste of just how nasty she can be.  During those times when she is publicly campaigning for the "Mom of the Year" title - which she often is - it's helpful to think back to times like Sunday and realize she's not fooling those who matter most.

Follow-Up

It's been a few days since I've posted an follow-up to the drama we faced on Saturday.  What ended up happening is that my step-daughter felt remorseful for her behavior, and ended up cleaning her room (which DESPERATELY needed the cleaning!) in an attempt to redeem herself.

Of course, it wasn't cleaning her room that we wanted to see; it was a change in attitude.

After a lengthy discussion with her dad, she apologized for her behavior and was allowed to go to the movies with her friends.  No, she was not meeting boys at the theater or anything like that. Her actions were purely selfish and mean, and there was no underlying cause aside from her entitled attitude.

I explained it to her from our point of view by giving her this scenario:  We buy her a cake; it's a delicious cake and she gets to have it all to herself.  She is thrilled at this, and can't wait to devour her treat.  However, she finds out that we also bought a cake for her younger brother. Upon hearing this, she no longer wants her cake and she claims that since her brother also has one, hers will taste horrible and she will no longer be able to enjoy it.  Not only does her attitude not make sense, but she looks foolish for acting so self-absorbed and petty.  I hope that she can see the foolishness in her actions this past Saturday, and learn from them.  Only time will tell.

She did see the movie (and she loved it, by the way), and even went to the mall with her friends afterward to do some shopping - without her little brother, dad, or step-mom in the way. All-in-all, I'd say she had a fantastic day and our presence in the theater four doors down did not detract from her experience one single bit.

I'm such a mean step-mom for allowing her to have this day of fun and freedom!!

Sooo Embarrassing!

So earlier this week, my step-daughter (age 12) asked us if she could go to see a movie with her friends on Saturday (today).  We asked for a few details, and she said there are two show times; 12:00 and 2:30, and they could go to whichever show time would work best for her dad and me.

Yesterday (Friday), we decided that if we were going to be bringing her to a movie, we might as well go to see one ourselves, and bring my youngest step-son and his friend to see Monsters vs Aliens.  It would work out much better to just stay at the theater, instead of having to drop off my step-daughter, then turn around and pick her up a couple hours later.

So... my husband and I made the arrangements, and this morning when we told her that we had decided to do the 2:30 show, she said that it wouldn't work for her friends, and that they had decided they want to go to the 12:00 show.

After considering our options, we decided that we could pick up our step-son's friend earlier than originally planned and go see the 12:00 showing of Monsters vs Aliens, while she and her friends saw the 12:00 showing of their movie.

When she found out her younger brother was also seeing a movie, she instantly started bawling and saying it isn't fair that he is going to be there, too.  Her dad explained that her brother and his friend won't be in the same theater as she and her friends, and that it won't interfere with her good time in the least.  However, she insisted that he would ruin her fun and that he would somehow be an embarrassment and a nuisance to her and ruin her fun.  She said he would probably need something and end up interrupting her movie to "ask for money or something like that".  At this point, her dad and I reminded her that we would be attending the movie with her brother, so if he had any issues, we would be there to deal with it.

This new bit of information set her off even more, and she was now fully sobbing, angry as could be that we would be in the same movie theater complex as her and her friends.  She said we were ruining her fun and that her friends would think it was really weird that her brother and dad and step-mom were there.

I can't believe that she would have such an entitled attitude about this whole thing.  Never in a million years would I have thought it would be a problem for us to be in the same building as her.  Her dad told her that perhaps it would be better if she stayed home and didn't risk the embarrassment of being seen in public with us.

I interjected in their conversation a few times, simply because I could not believe how ridiculous she was being about the whole thing.  However, in hindsight, it's better if I simply bite my tongue and leave my husband to the business of being the bad guy.  It's hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes (I know... big shocker to those who know me), but I'll keep working on it.  In the end, I think it's best that I stay in her good graces.

At this point, she is not going to the movie and my husband, step-son, step-son's friend and I will be going to see Monsters vs Aliens at noon.  I'm not sure she understands that her dad was serious about her not going - right now, she's upstairs getting ready/primping for her day at the theater.

I have a feeling we haven't dealt with the last of this yet...

Mexican Lasagna

About a year ago, my husband was attending school a few nights a week and I was left to figure out dinner for the family all on my own.

Having about 3 years of real cooking under my belt at that point, I started to branch out and "create" recipes, rather than "follow" them.

The clear winner was the Mexican Lasagna, which I will be making for the family tonight.  It's very simple, but takes a bit of time to assemble.  It can be made ahead and frozen - just remember to thaw it a few hours before you bake it.

One 9x13 pan will feed our family of 5... so I guess it's probably 15 servings or so :-)

• 1 jar of Target brand Archer Farms(TM) Chili Verde Cooking Sauce
• 1 package of Target brand Archer Farms(TM) Whole Wheat Tortillas (you can use any tortillas, but these have a wonderful, sweet flavor, and they really DO make a difference)
• 1 can Green Enchilada sauce - any brand
• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 can of sweet corn, drained - any brand
• 1 can of black beans, rinsed - any brand
• 1 can of diced green chiles, drained - any brand
• 1 bunch of cilantro, leaves picked and chopped
• 1 bunch of green/spring onions, sliced
• 4 cups of shredded taco or mexican blend cheese
• Crystal Farms(TM) Chipotle Cheddar cheese - found in the refrigerator section of the grocery store by the other brick cheeses *
• 4 diced Roma tomatoes, for garnish
• 1 head of lettuce, shredded / 1 bag of shredded lettuce
• salsa, for garnish
• sour cream, for garnish

1. In a slow cooker, place the chicken breasts, Archer Farms(TM) Chile Verde sauce and Enchilada sauce.  Cover and cook on low for 6 hours, or high for 3 to 4 hours.
2. When chicken is cooked through and tender, remove from sauce and shred on a platter.  This can be done using 2 forks.  Reserve sauce from the slow cooker - you will use it in the lasagna.
3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
4. Coat the bottom and sides of a deep, 9"x13" baking pan with a few small ladles-full of sauce from the slow cooker
5. Place 2 whole what tortillas in the bottom of the pan, trimming if necessary
6. Top with 1/3 of the shredded chicken, then layer on 1/3 of the black beans, corn, cilantro, green onions and green chiles
7. Next, spoon on 1/3 of the sauce from the slow cooker, and top with 1/3 of the shredded cheese
8. Top with 2 more tortillas and repeat the process, layering as you would a regular lasagna
9. Finish the process with a layer of cheese on top.
10. *If you found the Chipotle Cheddar cheese, use this on the top of the lasagna, in addition to the mexican/taco cheese you used throughout the other layers.  This smoky cheese has great flavor!
11. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes
12. Remove from oven and let stand for about 5 minutes before slicing
13. Serve with shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, sour cream and salsa

Perspective

I've begun to identify a pattern with my 15-year-old step-son.  He's generally a good kid, and doesn't get into too much trouble or get terrible grades at school.  Thankfully, he's not defiant, and he's not on drugs or anything like that.

The thing is... the kid's just a bit too apathetic.  He doesn't have a strong personality, and as such, he doesn't have too many opinions or feelings to stand behind... or stand up for.  I've also noticed that he's painfully unaware of other people, and how his actions or words affects those around him.

It's incredibly frustrating to know that he isn't intentionally being insensitive or uncaring; it's that he simply has no idea about people.  Just this week, I took time off work to bring him to track practice at 3:30 pm.  During the car ride, I attempted to engage him in conversation, which resulted in me talking and him grunting the occasional "uh-huh" and "yeah".  When we got to school I handed him the "spare" cell phone, and reminded him to call his dad when he was finished with practice, as his dad would be picking him up.  He grunted his acknowledgement then left the car without thanking me for the ride.  He's such a pleasure to have around these days.

I made a brief stop at the grocery store, then returned home to finish working for the day.  No sooner had I resumed my project than the phone rang.  I was busy on a call, and couldn't answer my cell phone right away.  As soon as I finished with my work-related call, I listened to the voice mail and it was my step-son calling to say, "Yeah, so I'm done with practice... you can come and pick me up."

First off, I recall very vividly reminding him to call his dad after finishing practice, and I also remember him grunting his acknowledgement as he left my vehicle.  Second, I don't quite think he's aware of the distance between our home and his school (about 6 miles).  Third, I think he has this idea that we (his father and I) simply sit on the edge of our seats just waiting for him to require our services.

Immediately after I listened to my voice mail, I received another call from him.  I answered to his, "yeah, so are you on your way?"

"I thought you were going to call your dad when you were finished."

"Well... I just thought that... since you dropped me off..."

"Why don't you call your dad.  He's across the street from where you are, and he's waiting for you to call him so he can come pick you up."

"Well... ok... *click*"

Oh why doesn't he get it?!?!

I'm really hoping this is merely a phase, and he'll move past it.  When I first met him - about five years ago - he was such a pleasant, articulate, mature, engaging young man.  He's regressed to this caveman-esque grunting wonder, who walks around the house and attempts to avoid household chores and conversation with other human beings.

The kicker is that every once in a while, he decides to make his presence known by throwing a hormonal tantrum.  Frequently, he accuses us of ignoring him and favoring his siblings, and once he even screamed "YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!!!!"

I'm not quite sure what I should be listening to... is it the "uh-huh" or the "yeah"?

It should be said that although he lacks empathy and understanding, he does know how to take advantage of people and manipulate.  He'll be the first one to volunteer to divide up a can of soda between himself and his siblings... making sure to pour some extra in his glass (for the effort, I'm sure).  Or just this past weekend, he offered to divide up the candy the kids acquired during their Easter scavenger hunt.  Jesse and I went to great lengths to make sure there were equal amounts of everything - knowing this was the only way to avoid arguing between the children.  When it was all divvied-up, somehow my oldest step-son ended up with all the "good" candy and the other two got whatever it was that he didn't particularly want.  You'd think that it would be pretty easy to divide three bags of mini eggs among three children, but he failed to see the logic behind that.  I realize I'm griping about very minor things, but if we don't get a handle on this conniving nature of his, it might very well turn into a huge issue for him in adulthood.

I know all teenagers present problems for their parents (and step-parents).  I realize that I need to find things to praise him for, and build our relationship that way.  Lately, though, I struggle to find the good.

Exactly how do you teach perspective?  How do you convince someone to consider other people's feelings?